The “IF” Clause

I have some time off work! yaay!.. I wonder what everyone is doing?? I am currently sitting down with my to-do list for the day and crossing off the tasks one by one as the day goes on. currently only on the third task 0_o after two hours because of things like snapchat  and instagram haha!

Easter was fun. I spent lots of time with my family and girlfriends having fun. I even went fabric sampling with my mum for the swimsuit project! My heart honestly did skip a beat this morning after I read a message from George on my facebook. yes. GEORGE. It wasn’t sad or threatening or anything, it simply said that he had missed me. It made me so sad.. I could feel myself about to burst into tears and being inconsolable beyond all efforts but that would have been exaggerating a little considering how far I have come so I held myself together lol but on a more serious note, I have genuinely been sad. my chest constricted when I read the words, when I thought of three and a half years spent loving each other all the wrong ways.. I asked myself why? why couldn’t the love have remained pure and unadulterated? why did it have to be this painful? I don’t hate him at all I want him to be happy and find that inner peace so that he doesn’t have to lash out in that way whenever he is in pain…or angry. Well that aside, this post is actually supposed to be about the “if” clause.

This is a word we all use freely but have you ever given any thought to it? It is used to express condition, in the sense that if is used to describe a hypothetical situation and it’s probable result. I realized during the Easter sermon that the greatness of God knows no bounds. We are told as christians that He has great things planned for us IF we do his bidding and follow his word. Meaning that God has forever got our backs provided we do what is right. How comforting is that?  It really is very easy for one to ruin his or her own life. I would relate this to something I read about climbing a staircase, it is a difficult journey when one wants to elevate his/herself. Isn’t the downward spiral always much easier? more fun? don’t we all love doing the meaningless things? like getting high or drunk almost every night, having casual sex and then feeling like crap the next morning? (I speak for myself btw) it has been so hard trying to manage these things! some of them I wish to eliminate completely at this stage in my life.. but trust me when you are out with the girls getting sh*tfaced what the hell is moderation?! LoL Sometimes I DO NOT even want to or feel like being positive but I have recently been made aware that my little blog has been motivating other young women out there so.. allons-y!

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So If you are alive today be grateful that you still live under the grace of God and do not lose hope. sometimes I do certain naughty things and I wonder what I will say to you guys if you could see me!…. But the resurrection of Christ gives me the confidence to face tomorrow. Every time I open my eyes in the morning I am just so relieved because I see it as another chance to improve upon myself because I know I honestly don’t deserve it.  More often than not I truly FEEL like the girl in the image I’ve uploaded! I feel like two different beings.. I feel torn as though I am a good girl AND a bad girl.. it is an overwhelming feeling! But still No matter how many times you fall in whatever it is that you have set out to do, please adjust that tiara and keep it moving while you still have life inside of you ^_^

– A. Afua

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