Break ups are probably the most painful thing apart from giving birth in my opinion. The feeling never gets old. We are forced to completely remove someone we are used to and love from our lives. That sinking feeling you get at night before you go to bed accompanied by tears that soak your pillow. Or that lump in your throat you feel when you wake up each morning knowing things are not the same. That urge to find out what he’s doing, who he’s doing, what he’s up to, if he misses you and wants you back. It’s even worse when you see him out with another girl or hear that he is seeing someone else. It’s like someone dropped an anvil on your chest. The break up is the Grinch of Love…We all want forever with the people we want to spend forever with.But forever isn’t always with the people they love.At least, not to them. i found myself loving someone from my past that i almost dated. After a few years, we reconnected on a friends with benefits tip. Things started getting deeper when we started to have feelings for each other. i was scared but i still opened myself up to the idea of possibilities. A year down the line of unofficially seeing each other, he decides that he doesn’t want a relationship with me and decides to cut all ties sans communication. How mean?! i was broken. i still am, writing this.i’ve shed many tears.Now it’s time to move on…
Moving on…*sigh*. As i sit here, i have blocked his ass on my phone, my attempt to disconnect myself from him but my heart is not disconnected. i still love him. Many times we find ourselves trying to speed up the moving on process because we do not want to feel pain. You must learn to embrace the pain and go through it without him. Cry, lash out, soak your pillow with tears, listen to break up songs, eat ice cream, yes, eat ice cream. After all is done, now proceed to love yourself or in my case, learn to love yourself. Many guys before like this one, broke my confidence and self love because they made me feel like i wasn’t enough. i mean, you’re not enough because he doesn’t want to date you right? WRONG! He has issues with himself that he has to push on someone else to make himself feel better. There is nothing wrong with you. Let moving on be a beautiful journey to discovering a new beginning. Change your look if need be. make some new friends. learn a new hobby. go for trips. explore the world and learn new things. And when he comes back asking for a second chance, do not look back because he missed his chance to make you a forever.