“Don’t try to find yourself. It’s an impossible feat when you’re always changing. Just accept the uncomfortable doubts and embrace the fact that they are part of what’s making you who you are.”– Thought catalog.
This is like the Holy grail of wisdom for someone like me who is constantly in two minds about EVERYTHING. Like my career, my relationships, my lifestyle… I constantly feel like I have more to offer, more to accomplish in everything that I do .it’s either that or I can’t make a decision on anything and then I get depressed as hell when things do not happen the way I want them to.
That quote was so interesting to me! I am relieved to know that I am not insane. I feel like this blog post is especially important especially for girls like me who have had certain experiences that have turned their lives upside down. I can’t speak for every kind of situation, but when you have been abused for a long time.. getting back to base is one of the hardest things to go through because you basically have to rediscover yourself. The feeling that you are not really the same is there all the time because you begin to act and react differently to things than you normally would.
I can honestly say that particular journey may probably never end but the most important part is accepting all of it. You have changed.. Sometimes when I think about the Me before I met him.. I miss her.. it’s as if she is dead and I have no clue who this new person living inside my body is! Today I understand that it is okay. Don’t beat yourself up too much when you don’t know what you want/ who you are.. There are people whose lives seem picture perfect who are still utterly and completely unhappy.
What I would advise is to find someone to talk about it with. Just talk.. sometimes all we need is that listening ear or someone who would validate all our thoughts and emotions and little incompetences. I had a chat with a friend the other day and I spent two hours just.. talking. about everything I went through.. I felt so good afterwards especially realizing that I’m inclined to sweep certain things under the rug or pretend they didn’t happen when what I should really be doing is accepting that they actually did happen, and there is nothing I can do to change it.
There are still things I can’t talk about.. and now I know for a fact that it will cripple me emotionally if I don’t let go … the same thing goes for anyone going through it….just.. baby steps okay? We are constantly changing and evolving ..going through new experiences that will definitely make us different people so it doesn’t make any sense to put pressure on yourself to KNOW YOU. It’s okay if you don’t.. The earth isn’t going to cave in and fall apart if you don’t have all the answers right now.. just live, laugh, love.. and enjoy every. single. day as it comes 🙂